Scone Wars
Currently, in a bed and breakfast on Cape Cod, Scone Wars are being waged. At the historic Captain David Kelley House in Centerville, innkeepers Rick Garceau and Tom Nortz provide their guests lovely rooms and grounds, delightful three-course breakfasts — coffee, juice, fresh fruit, scones and an egg dish — and a series of charming “persconalities” who deliver their scones.
Garceau and Nortz met at The Boatslip in Provincetown in 1986 and got married in 2004. Their dream was to have a Cape Cod bed and breakfast. They bought the six-room Captain David Kelley House in 2008 and spent the first four years taking turns, one week on, one week off, commuting to welcome Thursday to Sunday guests while keeping their day jobs. “The guest house and grounds needed extensive renovations. It needed all new electric wiring, windows, new roof, furnace, hot water heater, a commercial kitchen, walkways (there were none) and landscaping. “One year, then two, then three, then four,” Garceau said. “We were pretty sleep deprived for those four years,” Nortz added, “We didn’t even realize there was a pool shed out back when we bought the place. It was a time capsule grown over with ivy and live electricity and gas. When we pulled the ivy down, the doors fell off. Inside was a clipboard and pencil with the list of the last pool chemical check done in 1974, nearly 40 years before.”
The house was built by Captain David Kelley in 1835 and he and his wife Patience raised three children there. Many of the rooms are named after family members and the Captain and Mrs. Kelley are buried in the front row of a nearby cemetery. In the 1930s, the home was turned into a lodging house, and the owners just prior to the current owners had completed the paperwork for the house to be on the National Register of Historic Places.
Nortz retired from his geriatric social work position eight years ago and Garceau, an art director at a Boston printing company, got furloughed shortly thereafter and they became full-time innkeepers. Along with their feline co-hosts, shy Captain Otis and outgoing Alexander the Great, they welcome guests year-round.
Their three-course breakfast used to alternate between fancy bread, a muffin or a scone. Well, word soon got around about the scones and guests started saying, “Hey, I thought we were getting a scone?!” Garceau and Nortz realized they had hit on something that could be their signature. Nortz had a brainstorm to step it up. He donned a giant puffy bejeweled velvet crown and a red velvet Christmas tree skirt and knelt before the guests as he presented their scone like a gift. The guests went crazy!
What could they possibly do for the next two days for these three-day guests, they wondered? Garceau, being quite competitive, said he was actually nauseous when it was his turn. He thought, “How can I possibly top that?” He bought a children’s cowboy outift — purposely small — donned a cowboy hat and a black mask and came out to the tune of the “Lone Ranger.” Yup, the Scone Ranger was born. Then it was Tom’s turn. Rubber boots, pith helmet, bandana, canteen, stethoscope, suitcase, Bible, the Union Jack draped over his shoulder: Dr. Livingscone I presume?
Scone Wars had been declared.
The pair agree that what lights them up is seeing their guest’s reactions. In between courses, people who were once strangers begin to chat, laugh and become friends. Scone puns are de rigueur, and their guests try to outdo each other. One suggested that a glossary and photo of “persconas” be included in a future cookbook. Pre-COVID, houseguests could join in when they needed more participants such as in The Village People.
Eighty percent of their business are repeat customers. One frequent guest told me his family had rented the entire guesthouse for a February weekend to celebrate his mother’s seventieth birthday. They have many guests who come overnight on Tuesdays or Saturdays because they know eggs benedict with key lime hollandaise is served on Wednesday and Sunday mornings.
Their 15 “perscona” costumes (each!) take up over three-quarters of the closet, spilling out to a full hat and wig rack as well as various corners of their room. Their goal: no scone is delivered out of costume, and no costume is seen without a scone delivery. Whoever baked a particular day’s scone is also the lead actor that morning and directs the theme and the puns. Did I mention there are a lot of puns? Clearly, they have a passion to make people laugh — and possibly groan — with their many “persconalities” like Frank Sconeatra, Fred and Wilma Flintscone, Auscone Powers, and Carmen Miranscone. The puns don’t stop at the scone. They often serve individual round egg strata — strataspheres — on “Strataday” of course, because it straddles Friday and Sunday.
Awards in the last five years include being named one of the Top 25 B&Bs in the world by TripAdvisor, three years running as Travelers Choice. They are generous to the community, donating rooms to PBS auctions and Barnstable High School cover band fundraisers, scones to Centerville Library fundraisers and Cape Wellness Collaborative.
Nortz and Garceau have 15 of their own flavor scones and are very possessive of their recipe and secret ingredients. Garceau’s scones are triangular, “three points of perfection, taste, texture and presentation,” while Nortz prides his scones on being “round and luscious.” Garceau quipped, “Round and pointless.” Nortz replied, “I often have to give guests a tall glass of water after one of his scones. A guest turned one over once and it was stamped, ‘property of NHL’ on the bottom.” Ouch.
They have had some “real persconalities” stay with them. Chita Rivera, Audra McDonald, Sutton Foster, Seth Rudetsky and Megan Hilty have all been guests. Recently former guest Denyse Graves, a Metropolitan Opera singer with 200,000 followers, contacted them for a Facebook live interview. Scone Wars even appeared on Chronicle in 2017.
The Oxford Dictionary defines a scone as “a small unsweetened or lightly sweetened biscuit-like cake made from flour, fat, and milk.” I experienced both sides of the Scone Wars and I can pronounce no winner, as each embraces an aspect of this definition. Garceau’s “three points of perfection” scones are biscuit-like, slightly crumbly and without dryness. Nortz’s “round and luscious” scones are slightly more cakelike, a bit like a muffin top. Both have a terrific buttery flavor and a slightly tangy taste.
If you would like to enjoy their scones, they take private party reservations, but they aren’t open to the public. Their scones also make a nice hostess gift, and they accommodate gluten-free scones upon request.
“We want to be known for the scone,” Garceau said. It seems to be working. They were on an American Airlines flight last year traveling to Florida and a passenger walked by and asked, “Who’s home making the scones?” They never did find out who the man was.
Captain David Kelley House
captaindavidkelleyhouse.com
@cdkhouse Bed and Breakfast
508-775-4707
